You’ve all heard of the popular conspiracies of UFO’s, aliens, area 51, etc. Well I’ve got another conspiracy to add to your books. The other day, I was just strolling along the internet, hoping to find the latest cat gif, until I stumbled upon a company named AfterShokz. I thought, ok weird name, let’s see what they’re all about. Well lo and behold, they’re a headphone company. BUT not just any headphones, “bone conduction” headphones. So immediately, I’m thinking to myself, “uh, what is this make believe thing you are talking about”.
Apparently, bone conduction is a technology that uses “mini vibrations” to deliver sound directly into your cheekbones and straight to your cochlea, leaving your ears open. Sounds believable right? WRONG! This would mean I would be able to jam to Beyoncé, and at the same time hear my crazy coworkers blabbing to me. Who would believe that? Might as well say that you’ve created a pencil time machine. So, in an effort to not be fooled, the truth is out there and I’m going to find it.
It’s been one week and I cannot stop thinking about these so called bone conduction headphones. I’ve decided to call headquarters and demand the truth. The call rings through, and a woman answers, saying, “Good morning, thank you for calling AfterShokz”, in a nice voice that's clearly trying to cover up a conspiracy. It’s Law & Order interrogation time. I hit her with the hard questions but she insists that bone conduction headphones are in fact a real thing and that it’s been around for a while. I am no fool! “I’ll need one immediately”, I said. I plan to get to the bottom of this.
The package has arrived. As I pick it up, I notice that there is a black SUV watching me from across the street. I’ve watched plenty of Scandal to know I’m being followed. But I don’t care. All I care about is the truth. I bust open the box, sync the headphones to my phone and put them on. As I turn up the volume, I can start to hear the Single Ladies anthem playing in my head. I feel I’m going mad. Alright, so they passed the first test, I can hear my music. BUT not so fast, AfterShokz claims you can also hear your surroundings. Well we'll just see about that. I take off through the front door to the main street outside and start running in the road. It seemed like the smartest choice at the time. Side note: for some reason, drivers do not like when you do this. All of a sudden I could not only hear Queen B, but all of the grumpy drivers horns beeping at me too! I could hear it all. Well that’s not what I expected. As I head back to my place, my neighbor stops me and tells me he got a new black SUV and compliments my cool looking headphones. Guess you won this time, AfterShokz.